I have always been quite an anxious person and would regularly have negative thoughts taking over my mind. I had tried meditating briefly before as I had heard it was a good way to clear the mind. However, meditating isn’t about pushing away thoughts or feelings but of acknowledging them for what they are and not getting caught up and reacting to them as if they are happening. Meditation helps us to learn how to look at these feelings as if we are a third party, to be able to observe them and realise that, just as waves come and go, so do our thoughts and emotions. The way I had looked at meditation and meditating might well be one of the reasons why I hadn’t stuck to it. More recently though, with a more accurate view of meditation, I have challenged myself to meditating for just 10 minutes every day.
My negative thoughts used to be consuming and I would worry that the worst things that could happen would happen, and I could physically feel my whole body tensing at the thought. Sometimes I wouldn’t be able to move and sometimes I would catch myself holding my breath. I know that most of these thoughts weren’t based on fact or in reality but in my mind they were. I would shout like a banshee at my son riding on his bike too far away from me, worried that some disaster was just about to happen. The thing with this though is twofold – Firstly I was imagining something terrible happening rather than enjoying seeing my son riding his bike on his own for the first time, and secondly, I was stopping him from enjoying the feeling of riding his bike too. Worrying about things will not protect me if something bad does happen and it is robbing me of enjoying the time I spend with my family and friends.
Trying to resist these thoughts has only led to more tension in my body. I have migraines more than I care to realise and my shoulders are permanently stiff. However, since I started meditating every day, I have noticed how the deep breathing helps to relax the body, and how I am less physically affected by my thoughts and emotions.
Have a go yourself: Take a deep breath in through the nose and then exhale through the mouth (so it can be heard). Do these breathing exercises a few times and see how your body naturally starts to become a bit softer, or calmer and starts to relax.
Also, just by simply taking some time out of your day to just sit there and relax and breathe can be enough to help you to relax and rest your wandering mind enough to feel better and at peace for a moment.
Meditation has taught me how to develop an awareness of what I am imagining or thinking. To acknowledge that I am having a negative thought, to be able to ask myself if it is based in reality and then to be able to let the feelings and thoughts come and go. This is not a quick fix process and negative thoughts do still come into my head but day by day I am learning to acknowledge them for what they are and to let them go that little bit more.
By Lindsey
